TalkBlog

  T oday I write because I have made a pact to turn in two pieces each week. Knowing me, I would say that's not at all sustainable. But today I would sit pretty and channel my violent tendencies onto my laptop. At least it would only highlight my mistakes in red instead of flat-out saying I'm saying nonsense. I write because, in this form, I don't hear the voice questioning everything I say or telling me what to do. I have imagined love; I have aspired to love (maybe marriage); or so I thought, as long as my memory could permit me. You know those 5-tier cakes with those stairways and the bride and groom? The messy order of photographs had the emcees going on and on about the list of people, the couple had to take photos with. And hell, it was chaotic, but it's me; I live for chaos. All I knew at 4 was the beautiful dress that the lovely aunties had to wear, and then the smoky, tasty jollof and beef waiting for me after. With the way we were training with the husband'

 The  cold feel of metal as I sliced it through my wrist, i felt a sting as i watched the blood seep out of my skin. I smiled, dragging the blade deeper into my skin. I didn't mean for it to happen this way, but this was my only true escape.   It a started with a thin line of blood that trickled down from my wrist to my fingers before the journey to kiss the broken tiles.    The blood of the broken on broken tiles what a marvelous coincidence, my mind transversed many timelines of my life but only in a few would I opt for survival. The pain exploded in my head with a blinding whiteness, It made me    dizzy. I was laying in a pool of my own blood slipping in and out of consciousness, the throbbing pains were what I considered a proof of life in this broken body. My spirit was no longer here, and my mind; scattered abroad.    And , just when the pain was at its worst, it dissipated, like fog off some eerie lake.  I reckon that everyone’s story must come to an end. But mine ended not

Everyday it’s a battle with self; Today the anxiety wraps around    me like a glove. There’s a swelling in my throat and a tightness in my chest, I keep telling myself to take a breather. But I feel like I’m under water, I’m submerged in the ocean of my thoughts. I’m fighting back the tears but some teardrops find their way through the barricades to my eyes.  The World is here to see a show,let’s give them one worth watching  🧶

  Maybe I’m supposed to figure out this whole maze called life alone? Or maybe I could just opt out (un-alive myself). Today I am furiously tapping on my keypads because the emotions I feel are anger, betrayal, disappointment, and pain, will you call me entitled for holding people by their very words? Am I the asshole for expecting some form of integrity? Well, I’ve been quiet here basically for a ton of reasons, the wall of cards I built and called my life scattered at the very gust of the whirlwind, some pieces went never to return again, and every time I try to write about it theirs the battle of emotions and waterworks. Maybe putting this out would do someone some good, I have no idea what it is supposed to do but here it goes. I came across this old photo on Snapchat and the caption was indeed true “No matter how horrible the worse feeling is, there’s going to be another one which is even worse and you don’t know about it yet” I was probably going through a rough patch when I

These days I have so much to say but most times I just stay at the blinking cursor, is it writer’s block, I have no words to trap and put down; they’re flying free like birds outside the Sydney museum. It’s definitely not joy that I feel down in me, this is intense pain it's swelling up inside of me and I’ve not been drinking yeast.           A mad professor told me once “I think it’s funny that you expect people to treat you the way you treat them” (inserts Joker laughter) life isn’t a fairytale your fairy godmother won’t appear one day and “hipity bipity boop” away all your pains you would face it and you would face most of it alone.  I feel we are going through similar struggles and so we should try making things easier for each other. It's rather disgusting to see broken people break other people ; but this is becoming a norm. 2019? We go buy benzzzzzzzzzz! Lol, you didn’t tell me I would see shege, you didn’t tell me I would fight for my life, you didn’t tell me I wo

Today boredom brought back some nostalgic feelings, yeah, and today I’ll be talking about my horrible dates I know they may not beat your stories but they sure left me with this gut feeling in my throat. I’m going to change the names of these characters so I can save them and hope they change when you probably meet them its Calabar by the way most men here are definitely recycled( that’s if you’re in the city; and drop that silly idea I barely go out., as matter of  fact I’m a couch potato who complains about being bored and most times makes no move whatsoever to save myself and I have bad luck with guys) I'd tag the guys as Specimen A, B, and so on( sorry if I seem sexist) but these were my white rats, but I wasn't inducing them with Asthma.(Apologies; it's 2019 all jokes are sensitive) So specimen A I didn’t plan to meet the human being but sometimes my love for food lands me in the weirdest situation "HND" says food would kill me someday and I no l